In theory I could always make time to go the gym but it’s not so easy. I used to wake up at 4:45 AM and exercise before work. In my Genzyme days – and pre-Liron. That was then, back when a good night sleep was in my hands, meaning it was more or less guaranteed. These days I often choose extra sleep over the gym, or direct my energies elsewhere. Homemade veggie chili? Yes! Leisure reading? Please! Blogging? Fun! Yes! Obsession!
At least a year before I become pregnant with Liron I was bored with my workout routine, and lazy I guess, so I really can’t blame her for getting me off any fitness routine. However, since she’s been with us I truly lament the free time I did have to go to the gym, even when I didn’t always take the opportunity to go. Gosh, whoever said “Youth was wasted on the young” was so right on. When you’re young and childless you have limitless amounts of free time to do what you want to do. You just don’t grasp it fully, until you don’t! That being said, I do have a complaint. Shoot me, I’m a hypocrite, but … What are men doing at my females-only gym?
Recently I’ve noticed more men working on the gym floor – training, doing upkeep, etc. I don’t like it. I’d feel better if these guys didn’t appear to be your standard heterosexual gym dudes, but they are. I mean, no offense to heterosexual men. I’m married to one after all. These guys are nice, and they are friendly. But really, what happened to the days when someone would announce on the loudspeaker “Ladies, there are men working on the floor.” ? Now it’s old hat, assumed that a man might be in our midst. Grr.
There is a natural flirtation that occurs between the male staff and the female staff. That’s just the way it is. Physical fitness, sweating, a focus on the body. That’s fine. It’s just not my thang. When I’m at the gym I’m all business. Now you might be thinking, it’s a female-only gym, female-female attraction happens too, right? It’s different! The flirtation is different, the courtship is different. Just don’t go there. The men’s gots to go. I get that Healthworks isn’t supposed to discriminate based on sex (or gender), but think about a recent example of mine. Just last week the KKK sent me a rejection letter. Yup. They declined to hire me. Said I was too Jewish. That’s it folks. In this economy even violent, racist organization have standards to withhold. Healthworks, can’t you find some more female trainers?
As mentioned, I go to Healthworks Back Bay. I love it. Everyone who goes here loves it. It’s clean. It smells good. And you always leave feeling good about yourself. Healthworks is all about female empowerment. Their advertising campaigns cleverly position working out as something that makes you stronger, happier, and healthier, rather than skinnier, more desirable to others – and all that other crapola that we all care about but pretend not to. I like that. Typically I find the environment totally welcoming and non-threatening. Except for that time I had a free training session and the woman assigned to train and motivate me spent the hour complaining about her Russian neighbor and asking what my dietary vices were. Okay, first, I am married to a Russian so I’m already ticked off by her griping. If anyone is going to make fun of Russians it’s me, not her. This trainer literally did an imitation of her neighbor that went something like this “Eeen my country, your nanny is my nanny. What’s yours is mine. What’s mine is yours.” Seriously, how tacky. This ignoramus has clearly never met the “New Russians” who have no concept of “Your Mercedes is mine, and my Lexus is yours.” And second, by pushing me to confess my vice (I love food, my portion control kind of sucks) she’s telling me I’m overweight. Look, I know I could use some firmimg up but things aren’t that bad with respect to my body weight. Move on lady. And yes, I did tell on her. And no, she no longer works at Healthworks Back Bay. You’re welcome.
Being unemployed has allowed me extra time to go to the gym, to exercise, and to focus on me. When I go back to work I can only hope that I have it in me to maintain some kind of schedule, a routine that I so badly need. Men at my gym? This isn’t really such a big deal. It’s a mere annoyance as far as I’m concerned. But really, it’s no worse that a Russian-hating bitch. But she’s gone, remember?
Moms, we all struggle to get in a workout. If you stay at home with your kids you either take them to the gym nursery (that’s cool, right? I’ve never tried it but I heard Healthworks has great childcare) or you have to do something with your kids to ensure that while you’re exercising they’re safe and busy. Not so easy, eh? Part-time moms. To the layperson’s ears, part-time implies you have more time for you. Ha! You do have more time with your kids, and you are lucky to have a part time gig. (This is what I consider to be the best of both worlds). Still, you have to balance childcare with your fitness needs. And working moms – you need to schedule working out in a way that doesn’t equal even less time with your kiddos. This often means creative scheduling and less sleep. Whatever it is, power to you.
Okay, okay. I’ve shared two gym grips. Men, and Russian-hating trainers. I guess you’re allowed your gripes too.