Happy New Year! I guess. I woke up on December 31st not feeling so hot. Nothing big, just a little condition involving pain and antibiotics. “So is my New Year cursed?” I asked Sasha, sure if I kicked off 2013 in pain my whole year is going to suck. “You really are turning Russian,” he told me. So apparently worries and superstition have rubbed off on me from my better Russian half. Bleen!!!
Okay, let’s back this train up a bit. I’ve been reading The Happiness Project and it’s wonderful of course and uplifting and I’m filled with good ideas, but just like the author Gretchen Rubin, at some point I started to feel LESS happy reading this book as I became my biggest critic. On top of this, it’s the new year! I’m supposed be hitting the ground running on all my 2013 fabulousness, but all I can think about is how unfabulous I feel. Mostly it’s the way I feel physically which will pass, but you know how distracting any health issue can be to your day and general functioning. So I’ve found myself feeding off the negativity. “Be mindful” turns into “check Facebook. A lot. For NO REASON. Next! Perez Hilton!” or “Watch what you eat” becomes “caramel popcorn! YES! Belgian chocolates? I’d be crazy to say no!”
Reader, have you experienced this in 2013 or previous years? I can’t be the only one manically undermining myself!
I know that what I really need is a massive dose of chillax. Is that legal yet? Days will pass and I will recalibrate instead of buckling under my self-imposed pressure.
On a lighter note I’m already applying some new lessons from the beloved Happiness book. I took away the one and only example that ever convinced me “Don’t let perfect be the enemy of the good.” I never wanted to speak Russian until it was perfect, for fear of embarrassment. Of course that makes me kind of a jerk because you need to practice and make mistakes and one day hope to be intelligently conversational. I truly made perfect the enemy of my language progress. This realization hit me this week in New York. Add this to my resolution list.
And on an even lighter note I brought the new year in in the most lovely way. I was in my pajamas. With my family. And I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
There you have it. Happy 2013. Putting less pressure on myself. Being good enough.